1. thanks.sun

    1. I am thankful that my natural talents allow me to half ass school so that I can spend more time with my family and practice self care.
    2. I am thankful for the church I grew up in.
    3. I am thankful for interpretations of the bible that make so much sense and open up the text to be so much more fruitful.
    4. I am thankful that Alex’s imagination is so fertile and inventive that me might actually be TOO creative for role playing games.
    5. I am thankful that life has taught me how to survive unhealthy people.
     

  2. thanks.sat

    1. I am thankful for sex with my wife, which is always good sex.
    2. I am thankful for sleep.
    3. I am thankful for learning new things.
    4. I am thankful for good conversations.
    5. I am thankful for my baby’s laugh.  And his baby Letterman teeth.
     

  3. thanks.fri

    1. I am thankful for laughing so hard you cry.
    2. I am thankful for last minute schemes that get pulled off amazingly well.
    3. I am thankful for Halloween.
    4. I am thankful for our friends.
    5. I am thankful that one safety pin can turn “noooooooooooo” to “I AM NIGHTWING!!!”
     

  4. thanks.thurs

    1. I am thankful that baby Grayson has had his mom’s full attention for the past 14 months.
    2. And I am thankful that he is handling being away from the both of us pretty well.
    3. I am thankful for a wife who had a tough day today because of how much she loves her family.
    4. I am thankful that I’ve had painful experiences in my life that have helped me work through my inner darkness.
    5. I am thankful for stories.
     

  5. Thanks.Wed

    1. I am thankful for friends who know how to do things I can’t do.
    2. I am thankful for opportunities to teach Alex something.
    3. I am thankful for a wife who feels to me both like home and a place I’ve never been.
    4. I am thankful for the excitement I feel when I discover a new game.
    5. I am thankful for potty humor.
     

  6. Comedy Bang! Bang! Antics

    1. Scott: What is your alien name?
    2. Paul (as Garry Marshall): It is unpronounceable
    3. Scott: hmmm, is it the n-word?
    4. Paul: *breaks character laughing*
    5. Scott: yes, and...!
     
  7. earwolf:

    ICYMI: David Cross & Bob Odenkirk together again on Comedy Bang! Bang!

     
     
  8. prophets.

    (Source: interrobangbangbang)

     
  9. amycoffeefemme:

    Dear Topher

    File under - watch when I’m sad

    (Source: thefaceofamy)

     
     
  10. daveshumka:

    • I threw my keys into a cauldron filled with molten steel!
    • I threw a cactus at a blimp!
    • I stuck my butt into a geyser just to feel relief!
    • I brushed my teeth and ate an orange!
    • I stared into that melty-face ark from Indiana Jones!
    • I bought some meat out of a van!
    • I gave my address to a charity!
    • I ate a bug!
    • I changed my password to “password”!
    • I shared a milkshake with a guy who had some open sores!
    • I let a dude photograph me eating a banana!
    • I clipped my nails on the bus!
    • I replied-all to an all-staff email!
    • I threw a Mentos at a can of Coke!
    • I sent a pizza to a ghost!
    • I cut my own bangs in a bumper car!
    • I gave the middle finger to a shark!
    • I told my dentist to go nuts!
    • I tricked a very famous horse into marrying me!
    • I went to a biker bar and made fun of their beards!
    • I signed a contract with a cloud!
    • I gave a weak handshake at a job interview!
    • I stole a nightstick from a cop!
    • I went swimming right after eating lunch!
    • I launched a Roman candle at a bag of snakes!
    • I barbecued a hat!
    • I didn’t use my hand to cover my PIN code at the ATM!

    Get your votes in for dumbest thing ever written. I don’t care. I love it.